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32 Thoughts | Birthday Post

It’s my birthday weekend. I am pretty B I G on my birthday (who the hell isn’t?) B.C. (before children) I would start celebrating the anniversary of my birth on Nov. 1st. I bet my friends love the new boring Halleigh who just celebrates for the weekend (she’s way less annoying which is a bonus). Maybe when I am 80 I will just celebrate the day butttttt I highly doubt it. I have a running joke that on my 110th birthday I plan to sky dive. My Nino started a tradition of waking me up on my birthday to a cupcake for breakfast and my husband has carried that tradition on for the last 11 years- this is one of the bajillion reasons I love and adore him. This has also become a family tradition the kids L O V E ! I really am in a little bit of shock that I will be 32 years old – not because I feel old, but  because 10 years have come and gone crazy fast. I remember being 10 just wanting to be 13 SO bad and those 3 years where the LONGEST years of my entire life and don’t even get me started on the next three years waiting to turn 16. Yet the gap from 21 to 32… lighting quick !

Here are some thoughts on the matter:

  1. 32 is still super young. I mean… I still have friends, unmarried, without children living it up who have mastered online dating. So technically this means although I married youngish, have never swiped right and I have 3 kids – and have become certifiably boring – in an alternate universe I could totally not have my shit together living on the east coast, childless al la sex in the city type gal. Hence still young.
  2. I have never swiped right. So maybe I am not that young. I got married before online dating was really what it has become today. I was only 21 when I met my husband. I absolutely married my perfect partner and was so young when we got married but marriage is completely what you make of it. So that alternate east coast universe makes the Halleigh of this dimension’s arm pits sweat.
  3. With age comes wisdom. Like knowing you shouldn’t have more than 2 cocktails on a night out. Saying goodbye to toxic friendships. Drink plenty of water. Take your vitamins and enjoy being in bed by 9pm on a Saturday night.
  4. Take care of your skin. So on my 30th birthday I tried to get botox and the Dr. wouldnt do it- fast forward two years and I think it might be time friends. I should have started using some serious anti aging products 3 years ago (the kind that sting and make your skin peel) apparently because overnight my under eyes and forehead has really started to show some wear and tear ! Don’t wait till 25 to start using eye cream.
  5. Don’t waste your money on La Mer. I used the stuff for a decade and although it feels amazing, I don’t think it has kept me particularly youthful and my now mature self would like that small fortune back.
  6. Speaking of saving money… skip the boob job you think you need in your 20’s and put that money in a IRA account. I spent an ungodly amount of money on a boob job in my early 20’s only to remove them just last month. Although I loved them for a good year, ultimately I knew deep down it was a decision I would regret. So take it from me. Skip the boob job friends. I am happier than ever to have my ladies back to their old self.
  7. I now listen to my mother. She told me not to get the boob job. I should have listened. She’s told me lots of pearls of wisdom over the years that has fallen on deaf ears… but now when she speaks I have learned to listen. So call your mama. Listen to her when she has something to say.
  8. I have actually become her. More often than not when I open my mouth her words spill right out of me. My 12 year old self would be appalled and mortified this has actually come to fruition.
  9. Wear a bra to bed. Random thought but speaking of boob jobs and my mother this is actually been some really great beauty advice. She told my when I was 11 or 12 to sleep in a bra if I didn’t want saggy breasts. I have been GG G friends, gained and lost 120 pounds collectively in the last 5 years, removed 400 CC implants and get this… I DID NOT NEED A LIFT. I give my mother’s sage advice ALL THE CREDIT.
  10. Speaking of my body, it feels 32. I have had 3 children, it has preformed 3 tiny miracles and then 3 more when it bounced back BUT my back hurts, I wake up to stiff necks and I am not as limber as I used to be.
  11. My mind feels 40. Women mature faster than men. This never stops. My husband is 7 years older than me and I hands down am still more mature than he is.
  12. Brain fog. This might just be because I am a mom of 3 but I have a legit hard time remembering anything I don’t physically write down. This includes my age. I accidentally tell people I am still 30 all the time.
  13. I don’t feel the need to lie about my age. My brain fog takes care of this for me by default. However I did feel the need to lie when I was 30 and tell random mothers who mistook me for a nanny at preschool drop off that I was in fact 31.
  14. Material things still mater. In fact they have just gotten even more expensive. Instead of selfish purchases like designer shoes, clothes and cool cars that you dream of in your 20’s it’s now been replaced with home decor, pinterest worth remodels, and freaking expensive fiddle fig leaf potted trees.
  15. But the little things make me happy.  I never thought a coffee maker would bring me as much joy as it has. I really really really wanted a coffee ninja last year and I got it just after Christmas. I almost cried. Best purchase ever.
  16. Speaking of material things… this year we decided to pay off all our credit cards and live on a cash based budget. Best. Choice. Ever. We ditched our free points and now live completely debt free. Which brings me to…
  17. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. I spent most of my 20’s saving money just to buy designer bags or pay for car payments that where more than my rent. Now in my 30’s I live by this rule…it  applies to purchases,, drinking too much on a kidless weekend and just about e v e r y t h i n g.
  18. Embracing negative Nancy. I have learned to say No. This is kind of like point 16 but I say No a lot now. To clients, to friends, to family. I used to be a YES girl. YES to everything. Even if that meant me being stretched to the max between my family, my business, and my clients. No is my new BFF.
  19. I don’t miss my 20’sYes, I actually cried on my 25th birthday. I mourned it hard. I totally felt sorry for myself. Granted at the time we had been struggling to get pregnant, I was transitioning careers and was in general in a kinda bad place… my now 32 year old self giggles. Life hadn’t even started yet and e v e r y t h i n g was going to be just fine – I would never weigh 110 pounds again but I wouldn’t really even care.
  20. Being boring is the new black. My life is pretty drama free, toxic relationship free, and I don’t get my feelings hurt when I am not invited. FOMO is no longer a mental disorder. I actually rather stay in with my tiny humans, my husband and watch netflix. Sometimes we collectively sigh when we get invited places. We are that boring.
  21. I might be boring but I am still irresponsible, kind of. Just because I am boring, and I don’t drink much and I say NO a lot, arrive to everything early doesn’t mean I completely have my shit together. I don’t have a will and I am a mother of three for crying out loud. SO irresponsible…. I should also probably purchase some life insurance just to make up for being so irresponsible for the last 5 years.
  22. Old dogs can learn new tricks. I recently just learned how to french braid and dutch braid. My 12 year old self would be super proud of me. Also I taught myself a new editing software for video. Granted I still have a hard time operating my iPhone.
  23. Time management. This has become a big one. I have made a tiny human army and I am in charge so managing their time, and my own has become a huge task that I have mastered in my 30’s. We aren’t super scheduled but I make sure that their is enough of me to go around just for them and that when I am with them I am fully present.
  24. Self care is important. Making time for myself is super important. I try to take an hour each week to just do something for myself. Working out, getting my nails done, or just a bath with a book. Me time is important. I was afraid when I had Marrek, me time would be a thing of the past but thanks to time management… its still achievable.
  25. Highschool never ends. Hate to break it to you. Those mean girls from school become mothers. The cliques still exist. Drop off sometimes feels like the first day of freshman year all over again BUT you no longer really care- at least I don’t. The low key cool moms are out there you just have to find your tribe.
  26. It’s harder to make friends in your 30’s. Its true. Might be because we have become slightly boring. We say No more- but just in general people have their lives pretty set at season of life we are in. Parents of three. So its just harder to meet new people. Sometime I feel like I am speed dating at the park when I meet new moms.
  27. Quality over Quantity. The friends that bleed over from your 20’s into your 30’s are the real deal. The ones who don’t make it where never really your friend to being with. Those relationships are the real deal so remember to use those time management skills and make time to meet for playdates, coffee and dinners every blue moon.
  28. Mom guilt will kill you. It keeps you up at night. So learn quickly to let it go and just try to do better tomorrow. We all have our failures, just let it go and try harder tomorrow. DO NOT LET IT KEEP YOU UP. Sleep is the new hottest commodity.
  29. FOMO. Every so often I feel like I missed out on seeing the world. My passport has collected a little dust and isn’t as jammed packed with stamps as my childless counter parts  but I remind myself that by the time I am 40 I will have a 14, 12, 8 year old and most likely a 6 year old. Traveling will get easier and our trips abroad will circle back.
  30. Ugg did I just say 40? Just because I have embraced my early thirties with positivity doesn’t mean I will welcome 40 with ease and grace but today I am just focusing on being 32 and not letting the stress of how quickly times does bog me down.
  31. Besides, I still look 28. I get carded all the time even with the kids. I am going to hold onto to this for as long as I can. Those fine lines I see must be pretty darn hard for others to see.
  32. The art of being alone.  I am going to spend my birthday alone (well part of it.) I wouldn’t trade all the craziness motherhood has brought but its true what they say silence is golden So I am spending the morning at my favorite place, alone.. As I write this I am being climbed on and Tinsley is crying about Rhyker touching her pen. I shit you not. So if I am counting down the minutes till Sunday morning. Don’t blame me.
  33. Confidence. 30’s have brought something so hard for many to achieve. I now have the confidence to just be me. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me except for a 5 year old little girl and 3 year old little boy. I feel confident in my 30 year old, loose skin. I feel even more beautiful, than I ever did in my 20’s – because I am no longer chasing the impossible.

Well crap theres an extra thought. If you made it this far I applaud you. These thoughts are so random, I am not even sure if many of them pertain to my age or just my life experience in general.

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